


In Absentia

by tittysatan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatlogs, Child Neglect, Incest, M/M, POV Second Person, dubcon, handjobs, ill-advised coping mechanisms, implied canon-typical emotional abuse, implied canon-typical physical abuse, mostly not porn but there is a sex scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:27:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28997487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tittysatan/pseuds/tittysatan
Summary: Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and your BRO has disappeared. You're sure he's fine. You're increasingly unsure you're fine.
Relationships: Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider/Dave Strider, Jade Harley & Dave Strider, John Egbert & Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	In Absentia

**Author's Note:**

> Please make sure "Show Creator's Style" is on so the Pesterlogs show up properly!

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 15:36 --  
TG: has your mom ever  
TG: yknow  
TG: gone awol  
TT: In the sense of her neglecting to inform me of her comings and goings, let alone the reasons for them? Absolutely.  
TT: Never for especially long periods of time, though.  
TT: Why do you ask?  
TG: bro  
TG: i havent seen him for like  
TG: two weeks  
TT: Oh my goodness, I hope he’s alright…  
TG: of course hes alright its bro  
TG: hes basically invincible  
TT: He didn’t tell you where he was going?  
TG: nah  
TG: just said see ya on the way out  
TG: anyways just wondering if thats normal  
TG: for guardian type figures  
TG: who arent hella clingy like johns dad i mean  
TT: I really don’t think it is.  
TT: But I won’t pretend to have any firsthand knowledge of what a “normal” guardian looks like.  
TT: Sometimes I think my mother and your brother would get along famously, what with their mutual dedication to insincerity.  
TG: lol yeah  
TG: your weird fights of oneupmanship are really something  
TG: at least bros sincere with his irony  
TT: You do realize that’s a complete oxymoron?  
TG: thats how irony works baby  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:41 --

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and it’s been two weeks since you’ve seen your BRO.

Which isn’t unusual and isn’t a big deal. He’s a busy guy. He can’t be around to babysit you all the time. 

He’s never been away for much more than two weeks, though.

Which is fine. It’s not even like you mean to count the days or anything like that. You just wind up doing it without thinking. Not cause you’re worried. Just as something to do.

Sixteen days.

That’s the record so far.

You’re kinda curious if he’s gonna break it this time.

That’d be cool. It’d mean he trusts you enough to leave you by yourself for longer. It’d be a good thing.

You’re not happy he’s gone. He’s your bro. He’s the coolest guy you can even imagine. 

But it’s not like you miss him either. You’re a pretty cool guy yourself, after all.

He’ll come back when he comes back.

* * *

\-- ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 12:21 --  
GT: so is your bro still missing?  
TG: three weeks going on four  
GT: wow.  
GT: i cannot even imagine.  
GT: to be honest i’m a little jealous!  
TG: yeah the difference is bro is actually cool  
TG: and doesnt constantly  
TG: i dunno bake you cakes or whatever it is your dad does  
GT: sorry, but i don’t anyone that fixated on puppets can be called “cool.”  
TG: john  
TG: this man is missing  
TG: he could be dying in an alley as we speak  
TG: gasping out his last breaths  
TG: and you have the audacity to say hes not cool  
TG: you should be ashamed of yourself  
TG: you tactless dickhole  
GT: oh jeez i’m sorry!  
GT: i didn’t mean to--  
TG: chill out dude im just fucking with you  
TG: youre wrong though  
GT: whatever, we’ve had this discussion.  
GT: if i don’t seem worried though, i guess it’s because you don’t?  
GT: and i figure you know your brother better than i do.  
GT: ...and honestly this does just kinda seem like something he’d do, from what you’ve told me about him.  
TG: well lemme tell you its not really a surprise  
TG: but no im not worried  
TG: got no reason to be  
TG: bro is literally invincible  
TG: motherfucker is so fast he can practically teleport  
TG: could probably slice a mountain in half or some shit  
TG: so i figure hes probably fine   
GT: probably!  
GT: i hope he comes back soon though.  
GT: you miss him, don’t you?  
TG: …  
TG: i miss having someone to rap with  
TG: but i can take care of myself   
GT: yeah, that’s what i meant when i said i was kinda jealous!  
GT: i wish my dad would give me some space.  
TG: i know john  
TG: we all know  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] at 12:33 --

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and it’s been three weeks since you’ve seen your BRO.

Record broken. Twenty-one days and going strong. Not that you’re counting.

...well obviously you’re _counting_ , but only out of curiosity. It’s a game. That’s all.

You train on the roof by yourself. Gotta keep in shape. You swing your cheap shitty sword around til you’re too exhausted to stand, drag yourself down the stairs, take a bath. It’s weird to see your skin without bruises and scrapes. You can’t remember the last time it looked like this.

It was probably the last time Bro was gone for a while.

* * *

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:09 --  
TT: Hello, Dave.  
TT: It’s been a month now, right?  
TG: yup  
TG: 32 days but whos counting  
TT: Do you think it might be worth attempting to contact the authorities?  
TT: I know you’re confident in your brother’s ability to fend for himself, but just in case.  
TG: nah  
TG: hes fine  
TG: trust me  
TG: also  
TG: my legal status is like  
TG: hella vague  
TG: i think im off the grid  
TG: i hear about shit like social security numbers from john sometimes  
TG: and yknow school  
TG: and i absolutely do not fuck with any of that  
TG: so getting involved with the authorities would probably be a real shitshow  
TG: not to mention my guardians missing and has been for a month  
TG: so theyd probably send me to an orphanage or something  
TG: can you even imagine rose  
TG: me in rags like oliver fucking twist  
TG: no thank you  
TT: I’m...reasonably certain orphanages are no longer a thing in the US.  
TT: And if they were, they certainly wouldn’t look like you’re imagining.  
TT: You’d be put in foster care, if anything.  
TG: well that also sounds like absolute bullshit  
TG: i can take care of myself fine  
TG: and so can bro  
TT: If you say so, I suppose I can’t very well argue.  
TT: I just wanted to raise the possibility.  
TG: possibility has been raised and subsequently lowered  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:30 --

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and it’s been a month since you’ve seen your BRO.

You have to admit it’s getting a little weird.

The first time you moved some of his shit out of the way you were convinced he was going to jump out of nowhere like the goddamn ninja he is, because that’s what’s always happened before when you moved his shit.

He didn’t.

Obviously.

You started moving his stuff around, like, a lot.

Not because you wanted him to show up. Just cause it was cool to be able to.

That’s why you started sleeping in his futon, too.

Just cause you could.

You think you must be getting some kinda allergies, cause your eyes keep watering.

* * *

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:17 --  
GG: hi dave!  
GG: how are you feeling?  
TG: hey jade  
TG: you know you dont have to check up on me all the time just cause my bros mia  
GG: i know  
GG: but i want to because youre my friend :)  
TG: i know  
TG: im still fine  
TG: its mostly just kinda boring with him gone  
TG: no sparring  
TG: no rap battles  
TG: no nothing  
TG: so like  
TG: if you wanna keep pestering me im gonna keep replying  
GG: good because i do want to keep pestering you  
GG: i know you said he hasnt replied to your messages but doesnt he run blogs?  
GG: have any of them updated?  
TG: nope  
TG: absolutely nada  
TG: well plushrump has but thats 99 percent bots  
TG: its like he really has just vanished off the face of the earth  
TG: if he wasnt indestructible id probably be worried about him  
GG: i have to admit im a bit worried myself  
TG: thats cause you dont know him  
TG: hes scary  
GG: scary??  
TG: no i mean like  
TG: scary strong  
TG: not like im scared of him  
TG: hes my bro  
GG: i mean if you say so…  
TG: says the girl whose best friend is a hellhound  
GG: you have a point!! hehe  
GG: bec can be scary but hes also my friend  
GG: hed never do anything to hurt me  
GG: so i get it :)  
TG: yeah  
TG: like that  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 13:31 --

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and it’s been a month and a half since you’ve seen your BRO.

It’s…

You’re not really sure how to feel.

It’s starting to dawn on you, now that he’s not here, that maybe…

Maybe having an ostensible caretaker who kicked you down the stairs on a regular basis was not the best?

Like, you get that it was training. It was to make you stronger. And it did; you’re _super_ strong now. Strong enough to get kicked down the stairs on a regular basis and be totally fine. You’re pretty sure you could beat just about anyone’s ass, other than your impossibly fast ninja bro. You’re not complaining about it or anything.

But from an outside perspective.

Maybe a little fucked up.

It’s nice to not be in pain all the time.

It’s nice to know you can put something in the fridge and it won’t be a mess of swords next time you open it.

It’s nice to be able to walk around your own apartment without worrying about being ambushed.

You know it means you’re getting dull, but…

You’re not really sure how to feel.

* * *

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 00:42 --  
TG: weird question but  
TG: do you ever get lonely  
TG: since its just you and that demon mutt on that island  
TG: no i am not counting the taxidermied corpse of your grandpa  
TG: even if you count him  
TG: by that metric itd be a goddamn party in this apartment 24/7 with all the puppets  
TG: and lemme tell you that is not how it feels  
TG: having them all around just makes it  
TG: idk  
TG: lonelier  
GG: because they remind you of your brother?  
TG: oh fuck i thought you were afk  
GG: nope! i am ak, i am at keyboard :)  
GG: did you not want me to reply?  
TG: …  
TG: nah  
TG: this is fine  
TG: to answer your question though  
TG: i dunno  
TG: probably  
TG: part of its just feeling like im being watched all the time by these lifeless simulacra  
TG: plastic eyes staring into my soul  
TG: at least he had the decency to take lil cal with him  
TG: but yeah probably some of that too  
GG: im so sorry to hear that!! i get what its like  
GG: i was so sad and lonely when grandpa died  
GG: i dont know what i wouldve done without bec  
GG: so to answer YOUR question… yeah  
GG: i get lonely a lot  
GG: i hope your bro comes back soon so you dont have to be  
TG: …  
TG: thats kinda the thing  
TG: now that hes not here i keep thinking  
TG: maybe bro was  
TG: not good  
GG: ...to be honest i did always kind of wonder about some things you mentioned!  
GG: im not about to pretend i know what normal is like, but some of his training seemed a bit…  
GG: extreme?  
TG: yeah thats a word for it  
TG: extreme parenting  
TG: like extreme frisbee  
TG: coming up with a bunch of convoluted and pointless rules for the sake of  
TG: …  
TG: yknow what i have no idea why people play extreme frisbee  
TG: or even really what extreme frisbee is  
TG: but you get my point  
TG: he always treated it like some kinda weird game  
GG: ...are you talking about ultimate frisbee?  
TG: well  
TG: fuck  
GG: i think i get what youre saying though! and im sorry to hear that :(  
GG: but im sure you dont want to be alone either, and thats a hard choice to have to make!  
GG: maybe when he comes back you can talk to him about it?  
TG: heh  
TG: maybe  
TG: i dunno what id do without you guys  
TG: like we might be a bunch of lonely kids  
TG: scattered to the corners of the earth  
TG: but through the magic of the internet we can be lonely  
TG: together  
GG: hehe exactly! I might get lonely, but i have bec and you and rose and john  
GG: and whether or not your bro comes back and whatever happens with that, well be here for you!  
TG: hey jade  
TG: thanks  
GG: of course :)  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 01:13 --

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and it’s been two months since you’ve seen your BRO.

You’ve been counting the days over at 2:30 PM, cause that was about the time you last saw him. You were playing video games. He walked past, opened the apartment door, and left. You said “see ya.” He said see ya. You thought he’d be back soon.

You’ve been starting to wonder if maybe something happened to him.

Like, it’s Bro. You’re pretty sure nothing less than some kinda superpowered alien monster could take him down. But still, why else would he leave for so long without even saying anything?

He probably thought you were too chill to worry about stuff like that.

He probably believed that you’d believe in him.

He’d probably be disappointed in you if you knew you were even thinking about this.

You’re sure he doesn’t miss you. He’s too cool to miss anyone. 

You don’t miss him either. 

You count the days out of curiosity.

You sleep in his futon cause it’s comfier than yours.

You wipe your eyes and tell yourself it’s allergies.

* * *

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 03:22 --  
TG: i miss him  
TG: and its stupid  
TG: i know its stupid  
TG: the more i think about it the harder it is to come up with any reason why i miss him  
TG: and why im not better off without him  
TG: other than being lonely  
TG: or force of habit  
TG: or all the stuff he always said about training and irony and coolness  
TG: but now that hes not here idk if i even believe in any of that anymore  
TG: or if i ever believed in it  
TG: or if i care  
TG: yknow what i realized  
TG: ive never seen him without the shades  
TG: i dont even know what color his eyes are  
TG: ive lived with him my whole life and i dont even know that  
TG: i dont know anything about him under the irony  
TG: assuming there even is anything  
TG: which there probably isnt  
TG: i miss him and i hate it  
TG: i dont want to anymore  
TG: if hes just gonna leave me here like this why should i  
TG: what the hell is there to miss about someone like that  
TG: i dont wanna talk about him anymore  
TG: i dont wanna think about him  
TG: if hes gone hes gone and fuck him anyways  
TG: i mean it  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 03:37 --

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and it’s been two and a half months since you’ve seen your BRO.

You almost lost count.

A day went by and you didn’t think of him at all.

Not to be relieved that there’s no weird puppet snuff film setup for you to deal with.

Not to be disappointed that you didn’t have anyone to listen to your raps.

You just…

Went about your life.

It was nice.

Maybe he’s not coming back.

You’ve always known it was a possibility, but it’s only recently that you’ve been able to admit it to yourself in as many words. Maybe he just left you here. 

Maybe…

Maybe that’s okay.

You’ve started thinking of it as your futon, and your allergies aren’t as bad as they used to be.

* * *

\-- ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:32 --  
GT: hey dave!  
GT: how’s it going?  
TG: not bad my man  
TG: finally finished putting away the last of these goddamn puppets  
TG: lemme tell you it has been an ordeal of sisyphean proportions  
TG: every time i thought i was done id find another stash somewhere  
TG: really weird places too  
TG: there was one in the toilet tank  
TG: no clue why  
TG: but i think ive finally shoved them all into storage  
TG: so i will no longer be surprised by coming face to face with yet another fucking puppet when all im trying to do is live my life  
TG: especially the puppets that are literally fucking  
TG: hate those things  
GT: so are you finally admitting they’re creepy?  
TG: i mean  
TG: i definitely dont like having them around  
TG: so   
TG: yeah  
TG: i guess i am  
GT: i’m so proud of you dave  
GT: i think you’re making really good progress!  
TG: ugh dont get all rose on me now  
GT: hehehe  
\-- ghostyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:49 --

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and about two months, twenty-one days, seven hours, and forty minutes since the last time you saw your BRO, the door opens, and there he is.

You’re playing video games. He nods at you and walks past. You feel the controller drop from your hands. “Bro,” you say, and you can hear your voice shaking. You’re so fucking relieved you’re wearing shades right now.

He turns and cocks his head, and you don’t know what to say.

_Where the fuck did you go, why didn’t you say anything, I thought I’d never see you again, why did you even bother coming back, didn’t you miss me at all_ , and all of a sudden it doesn’t matter that you’re wearing shades cause you’ve got big stupid tears rolling down your face and you don’t even know if it’s from relief or anger.

You crybaby, he says. You can’t tell how he means it. You can never tell what he means by anything he says. You’re still frozen when he walks over and wipes the tears from your cheeks and pulls you into a hug, and now you’re fighting back sobs, and you still don’t know why. You don’t know if you want to shove him away or cling to him. 

He leans down and cups your face in a hand, and before you know what’s happening, he’s already pulled back from kissing you.

He kissed you.

You really miss me that much, he says, and kisses you again, longer this time, deep and gentle and long enough that you can maybe kind of start to get a grasp on what the fuck is actually happening.

Your bro is kissing you. 

You’ve got that part down.

_So this is what kissing is like_ , is the first thing your brain supplies, and then, _it lives up to the hype_ , and your stupid mouth has already started kissing back by the time you get to _this is really fucked up_. 

Which probably should’ve been the first thing you thought.

You taste sweet, he says between kisses, and his voice sounds so gentle. Everything about him is gentle. He’s usually so cool and stoic, you pretty much only touch when you’re sparring. Occasional fist-bumps and high fives. Sometimes when he’s on the couch you’ll lean up against him in a very chill and nonchalant and casual manner, and he’s always ignored you when you do that, but now his arms are around you and his hand is stroking your hair and he’s kissing you and it shouldn’t be happening. You know it shouldn’t. But _fuck_ it’s nice.

You don’t even realize you’ve got your hands knotted in his shirt and you’re kissing him back until he maneuvers you to the couch so he’s sitting down and you’re straddling him. You don’t know what’s going on. You know you should hate this, you should shove him away and tell him to go fuck his puppets if he’s that desperate to get off, but you don’t. You can’t. You can’t even tell if you _want_ to. His hand is cool against your skin as he reaches up under your shirt, stroking up and down your back until you shiver and moan into his mouth and let him pull it off you, and then--

And then he’s touching you through your pants.

Bro is touching you through your pants, palming you gently, and you’re so hard it _hurts_ . You’ve been hard this whole time, ever since he kissed you. Your hips jerk unconsciously against his hand and he says fuck, you’re so cute and grips you harder, stroking you through the fabric, and this shouldn’t feel as good as it does. He’s hard too. You can feel it pressing up against your leg. He’s hard for _you_ , and you can’t even pretend like you don’t want this or like some part of you isn’t so fucking happy that _he_ wants this, like Bro’s not your entire goddamn world and always has been and you’re just so happy he’s finally _looking_ at you, and how are you supposed to say no? How are you supposed to _want_ to say no? How are you supposed to do anything but cling to him as he unzips both your pants and grips you tight together -- _hot and hard and twitching against you_ \-- and strokes until you thrust into his hand -- _the strange soft friction of his fingerless gloves against your skin_ \-- and all you can do is gasp for breath and moan into his kisses. You can’t think straight. Your head’s spinning and your heart’s pounding out of your chest. He runs his thumb over the head of your cock and slicks a bead of precum down and you’re about two seconds from coming when--

Bro takes off your shades. 

For a moment you can’t even breathe, wide naked eyes staring into the opacity of Bro’s shades. Everything is technicolor-bright and blinding -- you can almost feel your pupils contracting to pinpricks. You’re confused. You’re _scared_. You’re a kid shirtless on his big bro’s lap with his big bro’s cock against his, and for a moment you’re stumbling towards something like a no, but the word catches in your throat. 

It’s Bro.

It’s _Bro_.

This is wrong, this shouldn’t be happening, you don’t _want_ to want this, but you do. You want him. You want the gentle way he touches you and the soft praise he murmurs and the way he wants _you_. You want it like you’ve never wanted anything in your life, and that’s why you need to shove him away, and that’s why you can’t.

You can feel that want like strings on your wrists and ankles and neck, and you wonder if he’d even let you move against it.

Your eyes are still open wide as he kisses you again, hand knotted gently in your hair, fingers playing over your cock, and it’s so much easier to shut them and drown. It feels good, it feels so good you can’t think of anything else, you thrust against him and sigh “faster, harder,” knotting your hands in his shirt and letting pleasure mount inside you until it feels like there’s no room for anything else and it all unwinds in a stammering instant of electric ecstasy, kissing him with eyes closed tight, moaning into his mouth as he makes you come.

You feel hollow as you slump against him, panting for breath, as you feel him shift his grip to himself. His hand’s rubbing the small of your back. It’s nice. You focus on that, face nestled in the crook of his neck, as he jerks off, before a rough gasp and something hot and sticky against your stomach let you know he’s done.

And then you just stay there for a while. It’s warm in Bro’s arms; your whole body feels pleasantly heavy. He smells like metal and sunlight, somehow, frightening and comforting all at once. “I thought I’d never see you again,” you say, groping for your shades and putting them back on, but not before he sees.

You really are a crybaby, he says, but this time you can hear fondness in his voice. At least you tell yourself you can. I didn’t think you’d miss me this much, he says.

That’s right, you tell yourself. You’re relieved. 

You’re crying because you’re relieved.

* * *

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 01:02 --  
TG: hes back  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 01:02 --

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 07:36 --  
TT: Dave, you cannot just say something like that and then end the chat!  
TT: Your brother’s back? Since when? Is he alright?  
TG: damn slow your roll  
TG: yeah bros back  
TG: since yesterday evening  
TG: hes fine  
TG: like i said he would be  
TT: ...are YOU?  
TG: the hell kinda question is that  
TG: course i am  
TG: bros back  
TG: im psyched  
TT: I thought you were questioning the nature of your relationship with him.  
TT: Or really, I thought you were mad at him.  
TG: yeah i sure did tell myself that didnt i  
TG: cause he was gone  
TG: but hes back now  
TG: its all good again  
TT: Are you at least going to talk to him about all of this?  
TG: way ahead of you  
TG: were cool  
TG: its all cool  
TT: Well.  
TT: I’m happy he’s alright, in any case.  
TG: told you he would be  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 07:49 --

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and it’s been a week since your BRO came back.

You’re closer now.

It’s...weird. Like he’s a different person, like you’re dreaming. You’re pretty sure you’ve had dreams like this before. 

Dreams where Bro says good morning to you and tells you where he’s going and when he’ll be back, where he helps patch you up after training, where he listens to what you say -- and you woke up and tried to forget it because it made your chest ache.

And dreams where Bro’s mouth is on yours and Bro’s hands are on you, where he pushes you down in front of him while he’s playing Tony Hawk and you get to work, where you’re naked in his futon and he fingers you until you think you’ll go insane if he doesn’t let you come -- and you woke up and tried to forget it because it made your stomach twist.

It’s weird, but it’s not a bad weird. Of course not. It’s Bro. It’s _great_.

...yeah, maybe you’d had some reservations about him before, but it’s different now. He’s… You don’t wanna say “better” because it’s not like there was really an issue in the first place. You get that now. It was his way of testing you, that was all, and now you’ve passed. Bro chose you; Bro _wants_ you. You get shivers thinking about it.

And no, obviously you can’t tell anyone. Because it’s “wrong,” for whatever meaningless pedestrian definition of “wrong” they’d apply. Because you’re related, because he’s older. Anyone you told would just get the wrong idea. He’s not “taking advantage” of you. You _want_ this. You _want_ to be with him. You’re _happy_. If anyone knew, they’d just ruin it for you.

* * *

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 22:23 --  
GG: hi dave  
GG: you havent been online much lately  
GG: and i know its cause your bros back  
GG: but still  
GG: im kinda worried  
GG: did he ever even tell you where he went, or what he was doing, or why he didnt respond to your messages?  
GG: you said he was not good  
GG: and you couldnt think of a single reason why you weren’t better off without him  
GG: but now hes back and youre saying everything is fine again  
GG: and im worried that its not  
\-- gardenGnostic [GG] is now an idle chum! --  
TG: jade  
TG: seriously  
TG: its fine  
TG: i think i told myself a lot of that stuff cause i missed him  
TG: and i didnt know what to do about it  
TG: and it was easier to tell myself he was all bad and i didnt want anything to do with him anyways  
TG: and make myself forget about all the reasons i missed him to begin with  
TG: so id miss him less  
TG: but i dont have to do that anymore cause hes back  
TG: and were closer now anyways  
TG: so thanks for worrying but its seriously fine  
GG: promise??  
TG: promise  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 23:22 --

You close Pesterchum and turn your attention back to the TV. Bro’s playing Tony Hawk. You’re sprawled across the couch, one arm and your head up on his lap, and it _is_ fine and you _do_ want this and you _are_ happy.

So what if your allergies are back.


End file.
